“A Tale of Two Shits”

UnWrecked Press presents their first bonus ebook

Today the fine folks at UnWrecked Press are pleased to announce their first “bonus” ebook, which features a new story with a free bonus story.

The new story is “A Tale of Two Shits” (or, “A Tale of Two Sh*ts,” depending on how averse to swearing you are). It was first published in Necrotic Tissue 13 in January 2011.

The bonus ebook is available from Amazon and Smashwords.

Now you can read “A Tale” as an ebook, with the added bonus of reading the equally surreal and disturbing story “Visions of Suburban Bliss” completely free. Enjoy the somewhat R-rated and gross excerpt that follows.

A Tale of Two Shits

We start with this guy, name of Gabe.

Sitting on the hard plastic toilet seat of a dank, humid rest-stop men’s room, forty-five miles from his home back in the suburbs of Miami.

Holding onto his gut like it was a time bomb, about to explode. Trying not to moan.

Your typical guy, early forties, white, got some extra girth going on around his middle and some thinness happening up top in the hair department.

Wife and a trio of kids, the last critter just out of diapers after a rough six-month battle of pooping in his Wall-E briefs during the night and pissing on the floor out of defiance in the morning. Gabe blames himself for most of little William’s messes and the family battles they set off, being the good Catholic he is—or was, until he got the email from Alyssa.

Sitting there in a cramped beige stall near nightfall on a hot late-summer day, Gabe wipes sweat from his forehead and blinks in the unforgiving white fluorescent lights in their rusted metal cages above him.

His heart’s pounding in his ears like twin bass drums as his guts roil. Someone may as well have been stabbing him for the past five minutes.

This is my punishment, he thinks, groaning. Thank God I found this rest stop and pulled off before I had a William accident of my own in my boxers and new black jeans.

His expensive jeans are now bagged up around his ankles, touching the yellow tile floor with it blackened grout and smelly puddles of spilled piss. Gabe clutches his paunch of a belly as the Sharpie-etched graffiti on the scratched and dented walls blur around him like the evil directions and illustrations for a foul recipe.

* * *

Read the rest of the story as an ebook from Amazon and Smashwords.

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